Portrait of a Young Man
by MizC
Summary: The life of James T. Kirk was changed forever in an instant. What events have defined this Jim Kirk?
1. Birthday Stories

_AN: Definite spoilers for about the first 10 minutes of StarTrek. This is an extension of my other story "Jim Loves", so if you want a short 100 word version of this scene, you can go read that. Personally I'd read both. :-) StarTrek belongs to Paramount and such. Non beta'd._

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_**Birthday.**

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He's turning five today. Five, Five, Five… He's chanting in his head, a big grin on his face. He'd been chasing his mother around their home, chanting out loud, before she'd finally gotten tired of him and kicked him out of the house for the morning. He'd spent it running around with Bobby and Kevin, but now he's hot and tired, and really wants some water. And cake, cake would be good.

He bursts into the house, hair tussled, dirt-streaked and sweaty, and mouth already open to continue his chant aloud, when he catches sight of his mother. She's sitting amongst the presents and decorations, eyes locked on a data pad she holds in her hand, and she's crying.

Elation dies as he slowly walks over to his mom and peers over her shoulder. It's a message from Starfleet, and his eyes are instantly drawn to the photo at the top. Dark hair, smirk in place… he's looking at his father. No wonder his mom's crying.

He doesn't know much about his dad, just that he died on the same day that he was born. He's asked his mom before to tell about him, but she gets a sad look on her face and always tells him 'later'. He doesn't like to make his mom cry, so when later comes, he doesn't ask.

But he's turning five today, and his mom's already crying. So maybe it's finally later. He looks at her and realizes with a start that she's looking back. She smiles at him through her tears and wraps an arm around him, pulling him to join her on the floor.

"Starfleet's awarding your dad a medal for bravery… I'm surprised it took this long, but I'm glad they finally did." She hands him a small box, and he traces the silver medal inside with one finger.

"Will you tell me about him?" He's surprised by how small his voice sounds. He coughs and wipes a hand across his face, annoyed to find that he's crying. He's five, he's big now! Big boys don't cry, not even over missing fathers.

His mom draws him close, settling him on her lap, the medal and picture in his hands. And she does. She tells him about how they met when his dad was a lieutenant and she was just a cadet, on a semester deployment. How she turned him down everyday for a month, until finally giving into the Kirk charm. She talks about their long distance relationship once she returned to Earth, and how he surprised her at her graduation when he was supposed to be on the other side of the galaxy.

Her eyes are locked on the picture and her voice gets uneven as she talks about finding out she was pregnant, and going on leave so she could join her husband on the U.S.S. Kelvin. She swallows hard and her grip on him tightens as she talks about the strange anomaly they picked up just as she went into labor, why George was on the bridge and not with her in sickbay. She has to stop talking and compose herself before she continues on about how shocked and confused she was to hear George's voice on the comm as captain, and the fear she felt as the medical staff had wheeled her down to the med-evac shuttle.

He traces the silver medal slowly, memorizing its smooth edges as he listens to his mom recount his father's order to go without him, and his startled voice on the comm. when he realized he had a son. He glares playfully at his mom as she explains how she wanted to name him after George's father, and how he had shot her down. He's always hated his middle name, and he feels a warm connection to his dad knowing that it was he who saved him from a lifetime of being called Tiberius. He rests his head on her shoulder, drawing strength from each other as she tells him about George's final words before the Kelvin had crashed into an attacking ship. _I love you…_

They sit in silence for a moment, his mom slowly stroking his arm. He's so proud, knowing about the hero his dad was, and even sadder now that he's never met him. His eyes sting with tears, but he holds them back stubbornly. He's five now, and he bet his dad never cried, and he wants desperately to be like his dad. He tilts his head back to look at his mom, and realizes her tears have stopped and she's simply smiling at him. He grins back at her. "Tell me again?"

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Finite! :-)


	2. Corvette

_Disclaimer: Jim, Johnny, and basically the framework of this whole scene belong to Star Trek, which means Abrams now. (I really don't think this scene occurs in Gene's StarTrek, but we'll give him some credit too). All the background motivation and such belongs to me. Unless the writers and I think along the same lines. Which I doubt._

_AN: well I was hoping to write these in the order that I had mentioned before... but its not happening. 11!Jim really wants to talk apparently, and 9!Jim couldn't care less about telling his story, so I'm skipping ahead. I might go back and explore younger!Jim some more, but not yet. This was one of my favorite scenes in the movie, though I'm not sure its exactly what the writers had in mind... Enjoy!_

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It's been 6 months since his mother went back to Starfleet. She'd been talking about it since she and Frank married, and now that he's 'older' (as if 11 is really that much older than 9), she's gone and done it. It wasn't so bad the first month, while she was getting her commission back and relearning everything that Starfleet thought she forgot in 10 years, because she was still around. Not as much as before, when she was always home, but every night for dinner, and most of the time on the weekends. But then Starfleet realized that she really hadn't forgotten all that much, and made her a Lieutenant again and suddenly she's assigned off planet. She's been gone for 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days. Not that he's counting or anything.

Frank starts drinking almost the second that his mom leaves. He's figuring it's something he did before his mom, and just her presence kept it from occurring before now. Johnny doesn't seem the slightest bit surprised when he mentions catching Frank with a bottle, so he's probably right. Johnny's 15 and hates anything that isn't connected with his friends. He wasn't home much anyways, before Mom left, but now he's barely ever there.

The door's hanging open and he can hear music blasting from the house, which means Frank's drunk already. He's looking for a place to lay low until Frank passes out when he catches sight of the antique Corvette, Frank's pride and joy, sitting behind the barn without the cover on it. Frank was probably working on the engine when he decided he needed a drink and forgot to put the car away. He knows how to drive it, Frank taught him and Johnny back before everything changed. He taught them to drive it, and his other antique cars, on the fields behind the house, but he's never let them take the cars on to the streets. An idea sparks in the back of his brain, and he can feel the grin stretching across his face.

He's looking for the keys when he finds Johnny's latest goodbye letter. This makes it the sixth time he's run away. Johnny might hate everything and everyone, but he always leaves him a letter. The first time he's shocked, the second time scared, and the third, forth and fifth times he simply sighs and saves the letters with his others. This time he's angry... at his brother for leaving him behind again, at Frank for loving his cars and alcohol more than his kids, and his mom for leaving and ruining everything. He wonders how fast the car can go on the open road.

The engine is roaring as he reaches, 70 then 80 miles per hour, and he forgets how angry he is. This is the best feeling in the world, going fast with no destination, and he can't help but laugh with excitement. The comm ringing startles him and he almost drives off the dusty road, leaning over to answer it before the annoying ring sounds again. His step-father's voice catches him by surprise. Frank was at least half-way into his third bottle of Romulan Ale when he left, he can't believe he realized the car was missing already. The threats bring back the anger... everything's about the car. He wonders if Frank even realizes that Johnny's missing again and he jabs the button to end the call. Music floods his ears as he keeps pressing buttons and he fumbles with the latches above the windshield. The roof flying off catches him by surprise and he glances back. Oops. That's a bit of a scratch. Frank's going to be pissed.

He sees Johnny hitch-hiking along the road. Hitch-hiking... no wonder he got so far the last time he ran away. He'd pick him up, but he's still a little angry that Johnny keeps leaving him behind, so instead he guns the engine and honks the horn. He grins as he yells a hello and waves over his shoulder. Johnny looks shocked, and confused, and its awesome. He'll have to turn around and pick him up. Maybe in a few minutes.

The siren changes everything. He can't believe that Frank called the cops on him. What a bastard. He's never called the cops any of the times Johnny went missing, barely even seemed to notice, but 10 minutes of his precious car missing and he's got an APB out. He glares at the cop and jams the gears as he swings right towards the quarry. He guns the engine, crashing through the entrance gate. He can hear the siren gaining on him and punches the speed faster. If this doesn't work, he's dead. Of course if it does work, he might be dead anyway. This is will be much bigger than a scratch.

He downshifts hard, slamming his foot on to the break and the car spins to the left, tires squealing. He pushes the door open and jumps. For a moment he feels like he's flying and then he's hitting the ground, scrambling to get a hold before he follows the Corvette into the quarry. He pulls himself up with his arms, adrenaline pumping. He can feel the pain radiating from his chest and hopes he didn't break anything. He stands up slowly, eyes on the cop.

"Is there a problem officer?"

He breathes heavily as the cop asks his name. Legally he and his mother took his step-father's last name. But in an instant he knows that's not his name. He doesn't want it to be his name. He wants another father's name. The father who wouldn't drink. The father who would've loved him more than some stupid car. The father who died for him.

"My name is James Tiberius Kirk!"

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_so... what'd you think?_


	3. Kobayashi Maru

_Disclaimer: Roddenberry and Paramount and Abrams own Star Trek, the lucky people, most especially the quotes at the end, which are taken directly from the movie. I own nothing except Jim's inner voice, though that doesn't technically belong to me either... :-(_

_AN: again with the stories not in order. 25!Jim wanted to flex his muscles, especially after a conversation I had with a friend about the Kobayashi Maru, so I'll have to revist kid!Jim some other time. I still don't have a beta, though if anyone wants the job, please feel free to volunteer. Oh, and total rant at the Star Trek editors after the story._

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_Kobayashi Maru

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The first time he takes the Kobayashi Maru, he nearly has a panic attack. Oh at first he's fine, giving the order to intercept the U.S.S. Kobayashi Maru and rescue the stranded crew. He's wondering why this test has such a bad reputation when the Klingon ships de-cloak and lock on weapons. Even then he's still fine, hailing the ships to inform them of their peaceful rescue mission. Its when the Klingons ignore the hail, and three more Warbirds enter the Neutral Zone, locking on weapons, that he starts having trouble breathing.

The first hits drop the shields to 75% and sparks fly from a console. He calls for battle stations and the sirens do nothing to help the headache thats pounding in his temples. Through the roar in his ears he calls for the crew to fire all weapons, knowing in the pit of his stomach that its not going to be enough. He watches helplessly as another console explodes, taking out his helmsmen.

He's not sure how the simulation ends. One minute he's watching his ship get destroyed around him, the next he's standing in the hallway listening to Bones tell him to breathe. He pushes past Bones mid-rant about how stupid his instructors must be, to let him of all people take this test. Bones curses, chasing after him and yelling medical advice that he promptly ignores. He's going to beat this test.

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His instructors don't need any convincing to let him take the test again. The test is designed to be unbeatable, whether you try once or a hundred times. Everyone else has stopped after one try, but he's never been like everyone else.

This time he remains calm, inwardly memorizing every detail. He's 80% sure he's not going to pass the test, but then again, he wasn't really planning on it. He's getting a feel for the scenario; weighing different factors in his head and dismissing them as quickly as they occur to him.

He notices idly that the two Klingon vessels enter the Neutral Zone this time, while the other three de-cloak moments later. So only the details change, not the particulars. He orders evasive action, trying to outrun the Klingons and make it to the Kobayashi Maru at the same time, but the ship rocks with the force of an explosion. Shields down to 50% and a hull breach on Deck 9. He attempts to fire back, but isn't surprised when the simulation ends. The computer's voice pleasantly tells him that he, his crew and the Kobayashi Maru have been eliminated. He wonders who the sadist bastard that programmed the thing is.

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You can't outgun them, and you can't outrun them. He's got to hand it to the programmer, the Kobayashi Maru is a case-closed no-win situation. Good thing he doesn't believe in no-win situations.

He signs up to take the test a third time, and now his instructors are eying him with a bit of incredulity. Twice they could maybe understand, but a third time? He smirks back at them, shrugs his shoulders and gets his test.

He really can't stop himself. He loves how Uhura's eyes flash when she's annoyed and irritating Bones is just a bonus. "Starfleet has ordered us to rescue them.... Captain." Ah, there it is.

Bones announces the arrival of the Klingon ships and he can't help the smirk that creeps over his face. "That's ok." Bones's is utterly shocked and he just has to continue. "Yeah, don't worry about it." The arrival of three more ships brings more of Bones's sarcasm to bear and he simply smiles.

Man, he hopes someone's recording this.

"Alert Medical Bay to prepare to receive all crew members from the damaged ship." He simply can not wipe the smile off his face as Uhura, predictably, questions his order but he manages to contain himself to a simple repeat. "Alert Medical."

He's pulling out his apple from where he stashed it as Bones announces that the ship is being hit. "I understand." He knows, he saw the ship get hit too. He takes a bite of his apple.

"Well should we, oh I don't know, fire back?" Oo, Bones is mad. He pretends to think about it for half a second. "Nah." This apple is really good.

Suddenly everything pauses, consoles get lost in static and the lights go dark. It takes less than 10 seconds for the system to reboot. Showtime.

"Hm. Arm photons, prepare to fire on the Klingon Warbirds." He tries to not to sound smug, but he's not sure he succeeded. The weapons officer is immediate in his reply and he smiles. At least someone can follow orders without complaining.

"Jim, their shields are still up." Ah there's the complaining Bones he knows and loves. Shields, what shields? Now he doesn't even try to hide the knowing tone in his voice. "Are they?"

He loves the shock in Bones's voice. "No, they're not."

Time to finish up. "Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do it, lets not waste ammunition." Mom always told him not to waste anything. Not that its real, but might as well drive the point home. He wins.

He mimes shooting the Warbirds. Now he gets to enjoy his victory. "Begin rescue of the stranded crew. So, we've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured, and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is underway." Okay, maybe he's feeling a tad smug.

After all, it might be a no-win situation, but he's learned the hard way over the years that nothing is what it seems. There's always a back door, no matter how it appears at the onset. You just have to find it. Or create it.

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_AN: Gah! I knew real!Kirk had an older brother George and I forgot completely about him. He's not in the movie... apparently 'Johnny' was him, but they cut all his scenes except that brief one, so they changed his name (which... honestly why? Kid!Kirk could've called him 'George' or 'Sam' and everyone would've known who he was, or it would've been one of the million subtle nods to fans and wouldn't have screwed everything up!!!)_

_Anyways, George's supposed to be 4 years older, so now I'm left with a conundrum since the timeline didn't get changed til Kirk was born which means George should exist! Except where is he when his dad dies (a 4 year old on the Kelvin, really?) and what happened to him? So maybe he never existed which means this really is a parallel universe._

_I really wanted these stories to be as canon as possible, so I could go back and rewrite them with George in them, but Johnny's the same age and IN the movie, and if George really does exist in this canon, why aren't random captains recruiting him for Starfleet? It totally doesn't fit, which messes up the whole timeline converging with Nero thing. Sigh. Ok, rant over, though please PM me if you have a logical fix for this mess._


	4. Brothers

_Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount, and Abrams, and about a million other people over the years, but never me. I know, I know, I'm sad too._

_Author's Note: I know you're reading, even if you're not reviewing. Y'all can't fool me! Those of you that do review, you're awesome, thank you! (I probably PM'ed you in response, if not, I will soon) Special thanks to Jedi Buttercup and SBDGirl88 for responding to my rant last time, and thus sparking the idea for this chapter in Jim's life. We're backtracking this time (I said they'd be out of order, bah). _

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Brothers

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He knows he's staring. His eyes are wide and he can feel his mouth hanging open. He looks ridiculous, like he just got electrocuted. Although in all fairness he did receive the shock of his life. His mother had just informed him that he had a brother. A BROTHER?

"I have a brother?" His voice cracks midway through the last word and he winces. Puberty sucks.

His mom's eyes go sad, the way they always do when she talks about his father. She might be remarried now (to a drunk, abusive, abrasive _jerk_), but he knows that she still loves his father as much as ever. Fourteen years hasn't dulled the pain for her; she's simply learned how to push it away.

"You did. He was with us on the Kelvin when it..." He watches her struggle. Fourteen years and she still has trouble talking about that day. Nowadays she only tells him the story on his birthday. It annoys him, but he's suddenly beginning to get a new understanding of her pain. ".. when it was destroyed."

"But I thought the colonists got off the ship? Dad saved 800 lives! He was a hero!" He knows this story backwards and forwards. His mom told him the story every time he asked, and when he was younger he asked almost everyday. Then his mom met Frank, got remarried, and he hadn't needed to hear the story about his Dad as often. When his mom rejoined Starfleet she hadn't been around for him to ask, so he'd looked it up on the network. His dad was a hero to Starfleet; there were dozens of papers, accounts and reports about the U.S.S. Kelvin. He'd read them all, devoured the information about the Kelvin's (_his dad's_), last moments. Not everyone had survived, (there'd been 953 colonists on the ship after all, along with the 200 crew members), but the vast majority had.

His mom nods. "Your brother was supposed to be on Deck 6, along with all the other colony children. I was in labor after all, prematurely I might add." Through the sadness in her eyes he can see a hint of teasing, and he rolls his eyes at the familiar jab. His mom likes to say that his tendency to leap before he looked, rushing into anything and everything, had started in the womb. He had been a month premature, too eager to join the galaxy to wait.

"After the shuttles were rescued, I looked for your brother. I asked everyone I could find. No one could tell me anything. Finally, I found one of the care-givers who'd been watching the children." There's no more teasing in his mom's eyes, just the dark light of endless pain. He wants to tell her to stop, to take away the pain in her eyes, but he holds his tongue. He wants to hear this new part of the story. "Your brother... he was a lot like you. Always rushing off to get into trouble. He knew that his little brother was arriving. He didn't understand how of course. But he knew I was in the Medical Bay, and what it meant. That the little brother he'd been pestering us for was coming.." His mom's voice breaks and she brushes away tears. "He disappeared from the playroom. The caregivers noticed almost right away and sent one of the younger volunteers after him. They assumed he was coming to find me. They hadn't been gone long, maybe 10 minutes, when the Kelvin was attacked. No one ever saw your brother or Carol again. They never showed up at a shuttle."

He feels cold inside, like some part of him has died and isn't coming back. His mom is crying now, but he can't move. "What was his name?" His voice sounds dead even to his own ears.

"George... George Samuel Kirk, Jr." His mom clears her throat, trying to get a hold of herself. She reaches out to him and he pulls away. She flinches.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why tell me now?" His questions are fast and furious. He feels the coldness spreading through his chest, his muscles tightening and he clenches his fists. He realizes dimly that he's _angry_. Angry in a way he's never been. He's felt anger before; at Frank for being an abusive ass, at Johnny for running off permanently last year and leaving him behind, at his mom for being on deployment for half the year. But he's never felt such a cold, encompassing rage. _ She'd lied to him._

"At first you were too young to understand. Then when you got older, you looked just like him and it was so hard." Her voice is broken, sad, and he's never heard his mom sound so small before. "When I told you about your dad... how could I tell you about your brother too? You were only five, I couldn't bear to tell you about both." He's not even looking at her anymore, eyes narrowed at the wall. He feels her eyes on his face, but ignores them. "I was going to tell you later, but the time never seemed right. Then I married Frank and you had Johnny. It was hard to watch the two of you; to imagine that it was actually you and George together. But good too. You were so happy to have a big brother, I couldn't ruin it with stories of the big brother you lost." She sighs, exhausted by her emotions. "But now... today. Today should be his eighteenth birthday. He'd be all grown up..." She's crying again.

He's motionless. He knows he should be doing something, hugging her, sharing in her tears for the brother he never got to know, but he can't move. The rage boils in his veins and he thinks that if he moves, he might hit her. For keeping this secret from him; for lying to him for _fourteen_ years. Rage is keeping the pain away, and he embraces it. He turns away from his mom, no, from Winona. "You should have told me."

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_Oi. Poor Kirk. Review please?_

_oh, AN2: Still on the hunt for a beta, if anyone's interested.  
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	5. Wedding Bells

_Disclaimer: Roddenberry owns StarTrek. Abrams owns this Kirk..._

_AN: Well drabbles just take up forever don't they?? Anyways, back up to kid!Jim and his adventures. He's only 9 in this one. I'm fully intending on keeping this story going as scenes occur to me. If there's anything you're interested in seeing, feel free to drop me a line. :-) Requests and reviews frequently inspire me. THANK YOU WHIL for helping to make this work!_

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Wedding Bells

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The wedding is simple. His mom is wearing a light green dress, and he's never seen her look so pretty before. He tugs at the collar on the dress clothes she made him wear and makes a face at Johnny. The older boy rolls his eyes, but he can see the faint hints of a smirk. He tries to listen to the official speaking, but his mind wanders.

They're getting married on Frank's farm, in the backyard under some apple trees. He longs to climb up one of them. They've have been living with the guys for six months now, and he's been up every one of the trees. He's also fallen out a few of them. He rubs his arm ruefully in remembrance. He'd fallen out and broken his arm only last week. It's all healed up now, but he imagines he can still feel the pain.

His eyes drift across the farm idly, half-listening to his mom and Frank exchanging vows. The door of the barn stands propped open, and he thinks he can see the outline of one of Frank's cars. He squints his eyes, trying to focus through the dim shadows of the barn. Yeah, its the Corvette. Out of all the antique cars that Frank's collected (and he's collected quite a few) he thinks the Corvette is his favorite. It's bright red, with leather seats, and he can't wait to be allowed to drive it (Frank said he had to wait til he's 10). Johnny's taken him out in it once, and speeding through the dusty fields with the top down is what he thinks flying must be like.

Frank looks over at him, smile on his face, and gives him a wink. He straightens up, tugging at the edges of his sleeves and grins back. Frank's not so bad. Besides teaching him and Johnny how to drive the cars (he might not be old enough for the Corvette, but the Jeep was wicked!), he's also teaching them how to maintain them. He breaks down the mechanics; spends hours with the boys, taking apart and rebuilding the various systems. Johnny started off way ahead of him, of course, but he's always been a fast learner and he's quickly catching up.

The older boy hadn't been too happy when they had moved into the house, though he doesn't think Johnny ever actually complained to his dad. He'd sulked about, watching his dad with wary eyes. His mom tries to spend time with him, and Johnny's slowly warming up to her. It's hard though, since most of the time Johnny's in town somewhere, hanging out with his friends instead of at the house. He's tried to go with him, but Johnny's friends aren't exactly welcoming.

He asked him about his dad, one night when Johnny came home late. He can climb up on the roof of the house from his bedroom window, and he's always liked being high up. He'd been stretched out on the roof when he heard the sound of Johnny's bike (another thing Frank won't let him drive til he's older) come up the drive. Johnny laughed when he called out to him and climbed up to join him. They'd been laying there, staring up at the stars, when he asked why Johnny was always gone. Johnny had gotten very quiet and never answered. But after that night, they're just a little bit closer. He'd started bringing him back presents, a candy bar or a ship model, and they'd always spend a few hours on the roof together.

He blinks, realizing he'd zoned out and missed the rest of the wedding. His mom is busy kissing Frank, Johnny is busy looking at everything except their kissing parents, and everyone is clapping. He grins and runs up to them, throwing his arms around both of them. Frank ruffles his hair, and his mom leans down to kiss his forehead. He beams up at them. They're finally a family.

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_Finite!_


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